The Volcano Climb

Pucon, Chile

We all get up early and head off to the tour office to get outfitted for the climb. We all get gloves, snow pants, snow jackets,
Top: The hike up. Bottom: The much more fun slide down


boots, crampons and ice axes. The night before, I asked everybody to be sure to bring lots of sunscreen and a pair of sunglasses because the snow reflects the sun very brightly on the mountain. Of course, a few people forget so we have to go back to camp before heading to the mountain.

Eventually, we get to the base camp, which is actually a ski resort. They keep one ski lift running that you can take up the first hour or so of hiking. It costs an extra 10 bucks or something, but I advise everybody to take it as though it doesn’t seem far to the top, it’s going to be a bit of an effort. I’ve learned on previous mountain climbs, that summits are like things in a rear view mirror: they appear closer than they actually are. Damon’s the only one who decides to run up it like a real man. The trail he takes actually runs right under the chairlift, so of course as we glide over him everybody has to make some smart-ass comment as he slogs his way uphill through ankle deep light volcanic rock that makes you feel like for every two steps forward you make, you go one back. Ultimately, his intelligence wins over his pride and he gives it up and goes back and buys a ticket.

When we’re all at the top of the chairlift, we start the climb. I think we’re about 5 minutes into it, when Kate starts to moan.

“I don’t think I want to do this,” she says in her thick Birmingham accent that draws out certain vowels, “I just don’t feeeeeeel like it.

“Oh, come on Kate,” I say. “We just started. At least go until you’re tired.”

“I don’t waaant to,” now really starting to pout. “I don’t like hiking.”

For some reason, I decide that she’s making it up the mountain. So for the rest of time I cajole, scold, threaten to kick her in the ass with my crampons and finally outright lie to her, telling her that we’re not coming back down the same way, so she’s has to come with us.

It’s a beautiful day and not too difficult of a hike, as long as you take it slow. The volcano isn’t that high compared to a lot of the mountains in the Andes, I think only 10,000 feet or something, but you do start from about 6,000 feet so you definitely get your exercise. When we get it to the top, there’s a stunning view of the surrounding area. The crater makes the air a bit noxious, but it’s still pretty cool to look into.

We have lunch at the top before starting back down. Now comes the really fun part. All the way back down, there are about 11 vertical chutes cut into the snow and ice ranging from 50 meters, to about 150 meters. So one by one, we lay down into the chutes and shoot down them on our snow pants like a luger or a bobsledder. To slow down or stop we just dig our ice picks into the snow. The closest thing that I can compare the experience to would be going on waterslides. It’s great fun.

Tonight we all go to bed early, except for Leigh, Kate and Naomi, who inexplicably decide to stay up until the wee hours.